A Lesson in Obligation...

Today I am thankful for:  rain!, going to church as a family, no sickies, teaching 2nd grade Sunday school, hearing David Kim speak, my nap!, my children's laughter as Daddy chases them around, my son asking to watch Star Wars (Daddy was so happy!), snuggling my sleepy babies at bedtime and hearing their prayers, garlic knots from Porky's, the amazingly fresh scent outside tonight in the rain and cool air, cuddling with my honey.

So I haven't blogged in a couple of days.  As a family we were so busy doing things around the house that I just was so worn out at night and didn't blog.  Even tonight I'm not really adding anything from my reading, but I am adding something from my heart.  I'm a perfectionist and I really am learning to let go of that--it's a goal I can never reach as perfection only exists in the One who created it.  By nature, I have a hard time doing anything if I know I can't do it just so...adds a whole lot of unneeded stress in my life!  Thank You, Lord, for showing me that truth!  When I set out to take up the challenge of being in the Word daily and journaling, it was the kickstart I needed at the time; it have me a goal to do more and be more in my faith.  I had been finding excuses not to read or justifying why I didn't get around to it.  The transformation within me was amazing!  I began to grow in leaps and bounds in my own knowledge and understanding as the Holy Spirit guided me and drew me closer to my God.  It became a slight obsession (in the best way) to have my quiet time with my Bible and my journal each day.  The words just spoke to me in new ways and spilled over into my daily living, and the thoughts simply bombarded me and encouraged me as I wrote.  It was a beautiful thing.

Over time, I found that I wasn't having to try so hard and be so formal about my quiet time; it had simply morphed into part of my day.  It became part of who I am and I found I couldn't get through the day without it.  That's the point, right?  And as much as I meditate on the scriptures I read throughout the day and spend time in prayer, the journaling became a bit more forced.  Writer's block, anyone?  And that really bugged me because it was just my conversation with God, not something I was writing for anyone else.  And then it happened--I forgot to read and journal one day!!  Any surprise that it was Christmas Eve when that happened?  My first thought Christmas morning was, oh my goodness!  I forgot!  And you know what?  I got over it!

I don't think it was simply my "mistake" that I skipped a day of reading and writing.  I think God used it to show me my time with Him is to be relational, not obligatory.  I had been counting the number of consecutive days of reading my Bible and journaling as a way of cheering myself on in my growth; I didn't realize it could take away from my true focus being on Him alone.  I think I had made it about me, in some way!  So instead of giving up I just resumed my reading and journaling and realized it was no big deal.  God still loved me!

As I continued reading daily (my most important part of quiet time along with prayer) I found my blogging (moved on from my written journal) to be a strain at times.  I love to write, and once I surrender to an idea or thought it's hard to stop--and now that I'm typing I'm writing more and more, of course.  But catching hold of that idea or thought was becoming elusive.  I want to be completely open to the Spirit's leading and guidance and I feel that my words should really be a time of reflection for me, not contrived for an audience; if they impact and bless someone else, great!  But that shouldn't be my goal.  So I consciously skipped a couple of days to revel in time with the Lord without being on-guard for what to write about.  I also feel like He may be changing my approach to writing.  Since I'm no longer journaling, it may not always be my thoughts about the scriptures that I consider, but I think I'm to be sharing a bit more of myself and how God is working on me and using me.  I don't know.  Still praying about it!

This has been an awesome lesson for me.  I don't want my time with God to be obligatory so that I can tally more days on my personal chart--go me!  I want it to be about how He is going to speak to me and teach me and HUMBLE me with His presence.  I want to grow and change continually in a way that is sweet and personal and makes me more like Jesus.  Father God, thank You for challenging me and helping me to grow! I pray for simplicity in my actions and words so that I do not cloud my own experience before You.  Help me to let go of myself so that I can have more of You.  I am so grateful for the ways I've already changed and for the encouragement You bring me every day.  Help me to continue to seek YOU--not a routine, not an award, not some self-righteous dance--You alone!  Your presence, Your spirit, Your comfort and healing.  I am Yours!  Teach me how to draw near to You and further from my own pride.  I praise You for the way You made me, my own intricacies and hang-ups, my faults, my strengths.  Your formula for me was perfect, even though I am not!  Help me to embrace the joy of my own creation by celebrating You and Your perfection, for in Your perfection my weaknesses are made strong.  I can do anything as long as I obey You and walk in Your ways!  Help me to see the path You've set before me and to strive to fulfill the roles You've called me to.  I love You and praise You!  In Jesus' name, Amen!

The Heart of the Matter

Today I am thankful for:  a good night's sleep, cuddling in bed as a family this morning, getting through my first kettlebell workout, naps for Moo and me, working on a puzzle with Darrin, my dad being released from the hospital.

Ezekiel 36:26-27 "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.  I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them."  Today I am so glad that God has promised to help me walk in His ways.  There are days where it's just so hard to maintain the 24/7 commitment I made to Him--I'm tired, I want to justify the little things so they don't seem like big, bad things; other things and people seem to need my attention more than God does.  Really?  I guess that's the good thing about God helping me out--when I have one of my "moments" I stop and think to myself that God doesn't "need" my attention, He wants it!  He lovingly demands it!  When I'm able to set myself aside and spend some time in His presence, all other things are made right; circumstances might not change much, but my Lord helps me to see them with the eyes of my new heart.  When I've spent time in His Word and in prayer, the flurry of activity doesn't seem like such a flurry anymore.  I can think, I can respond, and I can get over myself.  God knows I can't do this alone, and He never promised that I'd have to.

The first verse above (Ezekiel 36:26) is cool because He said He'd remove our hearts of stone and give us hearts of flesh.  Our hearts of stone were immune to Him, refusing to see life His way and unable to praise Him.  A heart of flesh can feel, hurt, bleed; it cannot survive on it's own for it is in constant need of oxygen and clear pathways.  We are so prone to screwing things up, to being selfish, and that just leads to problems! But God said He'd help us.  If He helps us walk in His ways, then He will help us keep our hearts in good working order, too.  And whaddya know?  If we walk in His ways then our hearts will stay clean!

My heart aches tonight for those still walking around with hearts of stone.  The saddest part is that they don't even know it!  I'm always amazed at the anger these stony hearts are bearing; when confronted with a heart of flesh they lash out and have to do their best to tear it apart.  Very few people with stony cores can just say, "Keep on keeping on, Christian; I disagree, but we all do what we feel is right."  Many of them have to mock, scorn, and rip apart the sinews of that fleshy heart...but to what purpose?  Seems to me that while a broken heart of flesh can be healed, a broken heart of stone is forever cracked and splintered.  Unfortunately, those stony hearts out in the world are probably used to coming up against the stony hearts that are in the church; what a sad, sad situation.  Wherever they reside, all these stony hearts need to be transplanted and renewed by the Great Physician, Himself.  If I truly walk in His ways with His help, then my heart will continually be renewed and maybe that will allow me to reach out to someone with a stony core and provide love and refreshment rather than pain; and just maybe that person will one day yearn for a new heart, too.

Thank You, Daddy, for helping me to do the things You've called me to do.  Thank You for helping me and for always being beside me.  I am overjoyed that I am never alone!  Help me to do these things for Your sake, not my own.  I pray that others might see You when they see me, and that they would be encouraged and know that You are searching for them, calling to them, wanting to love them and bless them.  Help me to stand firm and not wilt in the face of hostility; though I cannot and will not argue with one who wishes to defame You and mock us both, help me to keep heart and rest on the assurance of my faith in You so that I can show love.  Put me places and situations where I can be of use to You, and help me to always know that You are with me and guiding me.  I praise You for You are holy and just, and You love us though we are so broken and worthless!  Glory, to You, Lord!  Praise and honor are Yours alone!  In Jesus' name, Amen!

A Wise Friend

Today I am thankful for: Darrin feeling better (nursing a sick boy meant no post yesterday), getting all my prep done for Radiant Moms tomorrow, yummy dinner, my hubby, Madi's sweet scent, an awesome church service (even though I watched online), worship music, joy in the Lord!

Today Pastor Chuck delivered an incredibly hope-filled sermon on freedom.  He is beginning a new series called "Jubilee" and kicked things off today with an overview of the series and the basics of having freedom from all sorts of woe.  I know that it's easy as a believer to tune in and agree with what the pastor is saying--we obviously have the same outlook on things since we are Christ-centered in the way we live our lives.  Not everyone agrees, however; many believers are still caught up in themselves.  Though they may have made heart-felt commitments to Christ in the past, they have continued to live for themselves as though they're just waiting for God to make it all better rather than radically changing their focus heavenward and seeking for God to show them how to live.  But today's message was a wonderful reminder of the power and wisdom of God and how simply submitting to Him can bring freedom from the bonds of this earthly life.

I read Proverbs daily.  I love beginning my quiet time with the divine wisdom of the book of Proverbs.  I love committing the words to heart and really meditating on the messages and lessons shared by the authors.  There is so much encouragement and conviction there, and it keeps me in check with my focus and my attitude towards so many daily things--my work, parenting, interacting with others, etc.  I also love that, as I read other books of the Bible, I see these bits of wisdom being illustrated--either in good ways or bad ways.  And all of the themes are the same:  God is wisdom, following God's ways is life, choosing all else is death.  Could it be more simple?!  Maybe it's just my own gift of faith that I can rely so heavily on my Lord and His wisdom, and maybe that's why things seem so clear to me.  I just wonder why the rest of humanity apart from (and even within!) Christianity struggles and suffers and refuses to see what I do; when you follow Him, things just go more smoothly.  That doesn't mean there won't be trials and times of trouble--that is how we are tested and refined and made stronger--but it seems that, overall, our interactions and choices work out for the better when we follow God's wisdom.

This is what Pastor Chuck shared today.  He had some really wonderful examples and illustrations of God's wisdom and why it's still relevant today.  I gave my hi-lighter a workout as he taught this morning!  And I'm left wondering just how many people will get it; how many will really listen and realize that God is simply calling us to trust and obey because He loves us and wants what's best for us?  When I sat down tonight to read in Proverbs, everything I recalled from this morning was affirmed.  I read chapter 8 tonight which is all about Wisdom.  Proverbs 8:6 says "Listen, for I will speak of excellent things, and from the opening of my lips will come right things."  For those who will listen, "wisdom" only gives truth and good advice!  Everything that "wisdom" has to share with us is for our benefit, to give us life to the fullest; "wisdom" only comes from God alone.  Proverbs 8:22-23 "The Lord possessed me (wisdom) at the beginning of His way, before His works of old.  I have been established from everlasting, from the beginning, before there was ever an earth."  God is the only being that existed before all else; He is I Am as well as Alpha and Omega.  So if wisdom was there before the foundation of the earth than it must be from God; this tells us that our God is a God of wisdom, that wisdom is a major attribute of our Lord.  Our God created everything in His infinite wisdom and urges us over and over to rely on His wisdom alone to live our lives.  How can I argue with that?

I know not everyone would agree with me, with my Pastor, with God and His word.  I know that many won't even agree that there is a God to be writing about.  But if He isn't real, if His wisdom is archaic and not relevant to today's society, I still have nothing to lose by following it.  From what I've read in the Bible, nothing God ever said was a trick or meant to cause harm to those who obeyed Him.  And there is much evidence that obedience brought blessing upon blessing!  I am incredibly blessed.  I know I obeyed God when I didn't understand, when I really didn't do it consciously with a specific goal of being obedient for His glory.  I obeyed out of faith without even much focus on Him at times in my youth, and I can look back and see His guiding hand and the fruit of His blessing on my life.  And now that I stand in a much stronger relationship with Him, urgently seeking Him all day, every day, I am seeing even stronger evidence of His presence and blessing because of my obedience and trust.  Is He real?  Is His wisdom outdated?  I say no to both, but if I'm wrong I sure like being wrong!

Abba Father, thank You for the gift of faith!  I thank You that I've been able to experience Your blessing even when I wasn't intimately seeking You, when I was obeying out of an immature faith.  I don't want to live life "waiting for the other shoe to drop" since it seems like we've weathered the storms of life so well; I just want to rejoice in You, praising You for your mercy and grace, Your unfailing love and the comfort that Your Spirit gives when I'm in need.  I know that I am no better than anyone else in this world, nor am I more "holy" or loved by You.  I stand in awe of the blessings You've so freely given to me, to my family; we are unworthy of such lavish affection!  I thank You for eyes that are able to see Your hand and know Your goodness even when our situation seems bleak.  I don't think our lives are any more blessed than the average person, I think we are just able to praise You when they don't; to thank You when they ask "why me."  It is by Your grace that we can stand in Your presence daily and know that You are life; You are the reason we wake, we breathe, we plan for a future!  I pray that You help us to lean only Your wisdom as we daily live.  Be our sole focus, our anchor; I pray that every decision we make finds us turning to You for an answer.  I know You are good, I know You are holy, and I know that I deserve nothing for I am nothing without You; yet You bless us if we just trust You and obey.  Thank You, merciful Lord!  Help me to remain obedient to You always as You said You would!  In Your precious name, Amen.

(Just a brief plug here for anyone who might read this--we attend Crossroads Christian Church led by Pastor Chuck Booher.  It is an amazing place to worship, diverse and beautiful as a congregation, dynamic in all ways and completely genuine in service and faith to God.  You can watch the weekly sermons online nearly anytime by visiting the church website and clicking near the top on the "media" tab (sermon notes and videos are listed by date and title), and you can watch live on Sundays by clicking on the online campus button at the top.  If you are every in the area, the experience is awesome so come by!)

In with the new...year!

Today I am thankful for: a warm day, spending the first day of the new year at church!, Josh being off today, Dan & Ellen being with us overnight and today, my nap!, sharing my favorite movie with the kiddos (Sound of Music), building wooden block castles with my babies, the joy of a new year and a new beginning.

What a wonderful day!  It was so simple and low-key, definitely my kind of day.  As I sat in church I realized how cool it was to begin the first day of the new year on the first day of the week--and share in that time with family at Crossroads.  The worship was incredible today (as always!), but it held a note of hope of rejuvenation.  I've never been one to get sappy about new years beginning and I practically scorn resolutions because they so often are not realized, but today really felt like a fresh start.  I suppose 84-degree temperatures on January 1st will do that!  It's easier to feel hopeful when the weather is warm and sunny.  :o)

As far as my bible reading, I resumed back at Proverbs 1 since it's the beginning of the month, and I also began Ezekiel.  So many new starts!  I can't say that my day had the type of divine revelation or theophany that Ezekiel was blessed with, but I know that my God is good, that He is faithful, and that he has plans for me that will build me up and help me to love others.  I know, though, that God can't work through an empty or broken vessel--well, He CAN because He's God, lol--but I should aspire to be whole in Him and dedicate myself wholly to Him so that I can be used by Him.  This leads me to making those resolutions that I so avoid...

Resolution 1: Seeking God in ALL Things  I am making every effort to continue this 24/7 lifestyle that I began months ago.  I am reading the Word, praying, and journaling/blogging daily.  My goal is to be in constant chatter with my Creator throughout the day so that I am more and more open to His guidance.  I want to be used by Him to reach others in their need, whatever that entails.  I simply want to exude love and show others their value regardless of where they are at in life.  I want to grow more and more like Jesus everyday!

Resolution 2:  Getting Healthy  I know, I know...it's an oldie but goodie, kind of tired and worn out...like me!  I worked really hard over the past year or two to set healthy habits that would lead to weight-loss and overall better health.  I lost about 20 pounds and was in a good habit of exercise and healthy, clean nutrition (not necessarily the former being a result of the latter...long story), then my body began kicking my butt with unexplained exhaustion and mysterious symptoms.  I was sort of forced off my regime and just didn't find my way back.  Over the past few months I've determined NOT to complain or obsess over my health issues, just to pray and let God handle things because He's good at that.  If I can do my part through time with Him in reading my bible, prayer, healthy eating, and regular exercise then other things should fall into place.  I'm not going to obsess over my measurements or weight, either!  My goal is about habits begin formed, not specific weight-loss.

Resolution 3:  Letting Go of Perfection  Boy this will be tough!  My first two goals sort of depend on this one. I am all or nothing--totally.  I hold myself to such a high standard that I sometime can't reach it, and I'm terrible about comparing myself to my peers.  I've worked on letting go of my perfection, and I've made progress, but it needs to be a continual journey until it isn't a conscious effort any longer.  If I stumble, I need to keep my eyes upward on Him and not on the ditch I'm in so that I can pick myself up and move forward rather than wallowing in the mire...and I'm really good at wallowing!

Resolution 4:  More Sleep, Better Rest  Ouch...I'm just diving right in with that one!  Actually, Pastor Chuck made the same commitment and challenged us to join him and I was convicted by his blog post addressing his goal.  Sleep has eluded me for years and I've tried all the drug therapies, natural remedies, teas, exercise, nutrition, sleep hygiene classes, behavioral analysis, etc...  Recently I gave it all to God and prayed for release from anxiety and have been doing MUCH better.  Now I need to continue on my journey of sweet sleep by making more conscious changes in my life--like going to bed earlier, perhaps rising the same time each day (hasn't worked in the past, just left me more tired!), and I'm hopeful that my healthier choices in other areas will spill over and urge me towards gentle slumber.

There are so many other changes I'd like to make, but I think I've set some pretty high goals for this first day of the year.  And no one ever said you couldn't set goals other times of the year, right?  I don't do well with rigidity; I like to keep things fluid and changing, extending grace to myself and knowing it's okay to let go sometimes and change course.  As long as my focus is on God and I leave myself open to His guidance, I can do anything...insert Philippians 4:13 here..."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Abba Father, Daddy, I come humbly before You on this first day of the new year, 2012.  I praise You for the changes I've made in my life, the changes You've wrought through Your faithfulness.  Help me to find JOY each day, to be a blessing to others and to willingly and humbly receive Your blessings as well.  Help me to keep my eyes on You alone so that I'm not chained to my own depravity but seeking actively to be more holy, more like You.  Help me to shine with Your love so that others might be blessed; help me to teach my children about love so that they grow in compassion and faith at such a tender age.  I need Your help to meet the goals I've set, and if I've set goals that are not in line with your path for me or are in some way destructive then I pray You'd illuminate them and help me to be set aright.  Show me my imperfections and help me to turn them over to You.  Help me to see myself with Your eyes so that I might be encouraged and know I'm loved.  I give myself completely to You, hopefully like never before!  Search my heart, Jesus, and help me to stand transparent before You, ready to be wholly Yours, ready to do whatever it takes to be equipped to serve 100%, 24/7, and without excuse.  Thank You for loving me and meeting me where I'm at!  Show me how to glorify You in everything I do, everyday.  As Jude wrote in verses 24 & 25, "Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to God our Savior, Who alone is wise, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever.  Amen."

Giving More

Today I am thankful for: school time with my kiddos, my nap, Josh being off today, Darrin having fun at tkd, being able to get our library books returned, David getting an interview with the senator, the joy Madi has playing with her animals.

As I read Proverbs 14 tonight I was highlighting bits of wisdom like crazy!  Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands."  Oh, Lord, let me seek Your wisdom and create a loving home where my family wants to be!  I pray our family grows in faith, love, and wisdom and that we build up one another always and show kindness and love to all who enter.  Proverbs 13:31 "He who oppresses the poor reproaches his Maker, but he who honors Him has mercy on the needy."  This idea of caring for others has really been on my heart.  I want to show love to those in need, and I want my family to show love as a whole; I want my children to understand how we've been blessed and choose to share blessing with those who have less.  I've received lots of good ideas about how to foster this, and I want it to become something natural and close to our hearts.  If we care but do not act, we might as well not care at all!  I believe this is why tithing has become so important to me.  I see what my family can do immediately to help others, but trusting our money to Crossroads lets God take our little and do much!

Oh Father, let Josh and I come to an agreement about how to handle the money that belongs to You!  I want to be honest and faithful in our giving.  I know this will be an amazing blessing for others as well as for us.  Show us what is right; give us concrete figures to commit to.  Thank you for your faithfulness to us!

Reaching Out

Today I am thankful for: church, Pastor Chuck B., being able to volunteer in 2nd grade at Crossroads, seeing my precious girl's sweet face as she napped today, playing Candyland with Darrin and Madi, snuggling with my sweet boy (& thrilled he still wants to!), fluffy pillows & fresh sheets, hearing Moo sing worship songs as she sat on the potty :o)

The Lord broke my heart today!  I'm not exactly why, specifically; I think I was just hurting for humankind.  I prayed last night for God to break my heart for the things that break His.  Today in church I was just overwhelmed and overcome during worship and at times while Pastor Chuck spoke.  All I can say is it was awesome.  Not that it was fun but to know God was really working on my hear in some way...wow!  I'm truly excited about the next 2 years at Crossroads.  I've been praying for a revival and I feel like maybe this is the beginning of one.

I'm reading about Job.  He was such a beloved man of God, and he lost everything!  I pray that should God allow me to be in the same position that my faith would only increase--though I fervently pray I don't have to experience what Job did!  Then I think of all the people in need out there in the world--especially innocent children!  Like Job, I'm sure none of them did anything to deserve their current plight.  But so many of them don't have even Job's faith to help give them peace and hope.  I pray that God opens my eyes to a need that I can directly affect.  I want my family to be one that prays and serves together.  I long for my children to be aware of their amazing blessings and humble themselves before God and develop hearts that want to give and help.  I know that passion needs to begin with me and Josh, though I think Josh may be the hardest one to bring around.  I feel there's an area of need, locally, that we can help with.  I trust the Lord to show us where in His time!  I would also like to experience a global outreach once the kids are older.

Father, I feel You working!  I feel like You're telling me it's not time yet for "great" things; first things first.  I pray You help me get my own hear in order first--draw me deeper into a relationship with You where worshiping, reading, Your word, praying, and fasting are like taking a breath.  Strengthen my ministry here at home!  Make me into the wife and mother YOU want me to be!  Let there be no doubt about this being a home that serves the Lord.  Guide me in teaching my children in a way that is obedient to Your calling and pleasing to You.  Father, I feel these are the areas of focus for me right now.  Please show me the path!  I pray for Your light and Your guidance as I do what is necessary to strengthen my home and provide a firm, spiritual foundation for my family.  With that in place, I know we'll be ready to branch out and share Your love with the world!  Thank You for Your many blessings!!  Help us to be obedient and responsible stewards.  Your kingdom come, and Your will be done, Lord!  My heart overflows with love and joy!  I praise You with all that I have and all that I am!  In Jesus' precious name, Amen!

Still Small Voice

Today I am thankful for:  my sweet children, new medication (praying I sleep well!), the early-afternoon nap I got, loving friends, good health insurance

HOW/WHO Prayer: God blessed me today by softening my heart towards my kiddos when I very easily could have become so disgruntled.  There has been no complaining or arguing all evening!  I showed love to them by very gladly giving them "best behavior" tickets when Madi, especially, had NOT earned a ticket all day.  God's ways were so subtle today!  But He knew just what I needed.  :o)

I always want to make things so hard.  Boy, am I stubborn!  This morning I truly prayed for the Lord to remove my anxiety and strengthen me to be obedient in showing love to someone.  As I sat and reflected on my day tonight, horror struck when I realized God hadn't pointed out (with lightening bolts) this special individual to love.  I had not obeyed!  Yet immediately peace flowed through me as my eyes were opened to the fact that God had very quietly whispered to me to love on my babies with extra grace and blessing "just because."  I obeyed!  Our evening could have been so different and quite a trial, but He very gently softened my heart and gave us a peaceful time.  I, in turn, loved my kiddos in a special way--MY KIDS!!  He is so graciously easing me into making intentional choices to share His love with others.  This journey is going to be AMAZING!

24/7

Today I'm thankful for: Crossroads, my in-loves (Dan & Ellen)

Today in church, Pastor Chuck began his 24/7 series.  It was amazing!  The vision he has for where our church is headed over the next 2 years is great indeed.  Less than one day into the challenge to commit to God like never before, I've already encountered Him.  At bedtime Darrin had some tough questions all about death and dying--does it hurt? how do we get to heaven? what happens? etc...  I'm not sure what brought all of this on, but I answered him as honestly as I could.  He was a bit nervous and frightened, doing that little laugh-cry that he does with the little corners of his mouth pulling downward.  As soon as I left his room I fell apart!  I cried gut-wrenching sobs for some time.  I'm still not sure why, though.  I prayed hard--for my children, my dad, comfort for myself--I just put myself honestly before God asking for His help.  It all made me wonder: do I put my kids before God?  Can I be like Abraham, willing to let go of them if God asks?  And how do you know for sure?  I like to think I put God first, but how do I know if I'm being fully obedient to that?

Maybe the whole reason for this is so that I can be more aware of my priorities.  As a homeschooling mom I'm sure it will be easy to live more for my kids, telling myself it's what God wants!  So I'm going to make sure that my time with Him is away from my kids so that distractions are at a minimum.

I want so much MORE of Him I think I'll burst!  I'm excited for the coming 24 months.  I can't wait to see what they bring!