Monday, October 24, 2011

Anxious for Nothing

Today I am thankful for: the simplicity of homeschooling (learning in such a natural environment in simple ways!), getting my workout done, a phone call from Kristie (thanks, Lord!), having more energy today, Darrin doing well in tkd today, Madi's little "sucky face" (melts me!), having the windows open all day, fresh chives from the planter

I'm reading through Psalms--such beautiful poetry!  I'm praying that I will find encouragement, wisdom, and reassurance as I read these songs.  Today I was struck by Psalm 4:8 "I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."  I know David wrote this while in battle at some point, but if he could rest easy on the battlefield, then I should be able to rest easy in my own bed!  I'm truly puzzled by my insomnia.  I do not feel as though I'm actively worrying about anything.  I admit I'm obsessing over my current medical state!  But it's wanting to find answers, not "woe is me!" thinking.  I'm praying God opens my eyes to my sin sot hat I can repent.  I have put complete trust in Him for all things.  So why can I not stay asleep?  Why do I toss and turn so fitfully all night?  I've ordered a bible study book by Elizabeth George to help me work through the anxiety I may be harboring and perpetuating.  I do not want to sin in this any longer!

Father God, You know my heart and my troubles.  Help me to truly lay myself before You and receive Your peace!  Sustain me, Lord, through my fatigue and help me find rest in You!

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