Giving More

Today I am thankful for: school time with my kiddos, my nap, Josh being off today, Darrin having fun at tkd, being able to get our library books returned, David getting an interview with the senator, the joy Madi has playing with her animals.

As I read Proverbs 14 tonight I was highlighting bits of wisdom like crazy!  Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands."  Oh, Lord, let me seek Your wisdom and create a loving home where my family wants to be!  I pray our family grows in faith, love, and wisdom and that we build up one another always and show kindness and love to all who enter.  Proverbs 13:31 "He who oppresses the poor reproaches his Maker, but he who honors Him has mercy on the needy."  This idea of caring for others has really been on my heart.  I want to show love to those in need, and I want my family to show love as a whole; I want my children to understand how we've been blessed and choose to share blessing with those who have less.  I've received lots of good ideas about how to foster this, and I want it to become something natural and close to our hearts.  If we care but do not act, we might as well not care at all!  I believe this is why tithing has become so important to me.  I see what my family can do immediately to help others, but trusting our money to Crossroads lets God take our little and do much!

Oh Father, let Josh and I come to an agreement about how to handle the money that belongs to You!  I want to be honest and faithful in our giving.  I know this will be an amazing blessing for others as well as for us.  Show us what is right; give us concrete figures to commit to.  Thank you for your faithfulness to us!

Two of Hearts

Today I am thankful for: dinner with family, meeting Cheli, naps, relaxing all afternoon with the kiddos, hearing Darrin's sweet prayer at dinner, seeing Madi in her horsie jammies, great day at Sunday school, Joel & Karen, my babies' laughter

Reading Song of Solomon...I think Josh and I have a great marriage, but there's definitely room for improvement. :o) I want more of God in my life, personally, and I most certainly want more of Him in our marriage!  I love the certainty of my husband's faith; I am so glad we are equally yoked, that we can pray together and for one another and seek the Lord in all things.  These truths are a comfort to me, but I want more. As I'm beginning to grow deeper in faith and service I want Josh coming right along with me!  I want to grow together spiritually so that we can be an even stronger unit for our children.  As we can be unclothed together physically, I desire the same transparency in all matters--especially our faith, finances, etc.  Intimacy has always been our area of struggle, and I truly desire more passion in our marriage--I want to feel MORE for my husband and hope there's never enough!  The thought I've had in mind for some time is that as we grow together in Christ--in faith and service--these needy areas of our marriage will be addressed.

Lord, please draw Josh and me together in You!  Help us to communicate more and more effectively about our faith, our concerns, and our desires.  Help us to be honest with one another and to be as committed to You as we are to each other--even more so!

A Blessed Cure

Today I am thankful for: rain!, cool weather, Darrin doing his best at belt testing, pizza for dinner, Josh's silly humor, Madi's imagination, kids being well-behaved at Kohl's, being able to buy new warm clothes for the kiddos, talking to my mom

Proverbs 12:25 "Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good work makes it glad."  How very true!  I'm a "worry wart" as my Papa always called me.  I'm definitely doing much better since I very deliberately turned ALL my anxiety over to God.  Even the smallest worry can cause me to become preoccupied to the point of affecting my other thoughts and causing distress.  But if a loved one or friend says something thoughtful or encouraging, it goes a long way towards dissolving my worry and breaks down my wall of sadness--even when I haven't noticed its presence!  I think that's why we are to be in fellowship with other believers.  If we isolate ourselves as in a depressive state, we are essentially cutting off a supply of the very best antidote.  Alone we have no one to counteract the worry and negative thoughts that are so pervasive.  But if we confess our anxieties to the Lord, cast ALL care upon Him, and the regularly fellowship with believing friends we can eradicate the diseases of anxiety and depression and live lives full of joy and hope!  And providing the same encouragement to others only adds to our joy!  Thank You, Lord, for revealing this truth to me!

On Being Diligent...

Today I am thankful for: feeling better!, Darrin's willingness to practice tkd, Madi's loving heart, Josh being Josh (I love how he makes me feel better just by being himself!), a brief conversation with my mom, a beautiful fall day, the coming rain, my son telling me he loves me forever forever forever & forever

Today I am challenged and convicted by my reading in Ecclesiastes to apply myself more to the work God has given me!  I am so blessed to be home raising my family.  I've wanted this for so long, and God even changed Josh's heart on the matter so I'm certain I'm to be home teaching my children and taking care of my husband and our home.  There are many days I'm tempted to call it quits and enroll our kids in public school because it would be easier on me to do the housework that gets so sorely neglected!  There are days I wonder why the Lord didn't gift me to keep house if this is what He's called me to.  There are times when fatigue and temper get the best of me and I wonder why I'm bothering with home education at all.  When all of this negativity and second-guessing strikes I remind myself that I MUST be doing the right thing because following God won't always be easy!  And all of these thoughts that are telling me to quit, give up, give in, stop--I know I shouldn't listen because the Holy Spirit usually speaks in the affirmative, right?  And if He is telling me no, then I would've gotten the point by now.

So in reading Ecclesiastes tonight I've come to a realization:  if God has assigned me to be a stay-at-home-mom and home educator, then if I'm applying myself with diligence, then a whole lot of my negative self-doubt should cease!  Eccl. 11:4 "He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap."  I'm very guilty of letting the "what ifs" keep me from accomplishing something.  I'm l-a-z-y!  It's a sinful nature I'm so tired of and really need to give to God!  I have tried and tried, certainly, but maybe not hard enough?  Eccl. 9:10 "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going."  I owe it to God who's gifted me with a family to care for to love them and care for them with might and diligence.  When I'm gone, I'm gone; there will be no mother or wife to love, instruct, and care for them as I have done.  Should the Lord call me home sooner rather than later, the work I have done will have an enormous impact on how my family continues--will they follow the Lord in all things?  Will they keep house and care for each other?  Will they children's education continue in a manner pleasing to the Lord?  I must use the time I'm blessed with to prepare my children's hearts and minds to serve God with joy and gladness.  My husband should know my passion for him and should find rest in his home so we can enjoy time as a family when he is off work.

Dearest Lord, I come to You humbled and a bit daunted by the work You have assigned me!  I need Your help greatly!  Please give me the discipline and focus to care for my family--to nurture my husband and children, to instruct and love, to keep a clean and inviting home and be frugal and resourceful.  I know this is my calling--please guide me and strengthen me!  Help me to bring honor to You and my family!

Peaceful Praise

Today I am thankful for: my sweet hubby, my precious kiddos (they let me rest all day because I don't feel well; they never complained!), NOT throwing up today!, not having to go to work (I'm blessed to be home!)

I'm thankful for the wise words of Solomon.  I'm also grateful that I have understanding of my own depravity and God's sovereignty and holiness.  Help me to be humble, Lord!  I love being before Him in silence.  I'm glad for Eccl. 5:2 "Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God, for God is in heaven, and you on earth; therefore let your words be few." As humans we talk too much; we often come before God and speak to Him in a relentless manner of praise and supplication.  While we need to speak to Him, there are times that I believe our silence is more welcome.  We need not be afraid of standing in the presence of our Lord with hearts full of praise, sorrow, quandary, or a combination of emotions; yet trusting that He knows our need we remain silent with our lips allowing our hearts to cry out and to hear His reply.  I love to sing His praises, but one thing I look forward to most is being in heaven before my Creator and my Savior just sitting in genuine awe of the presence of God.

Lord, let my words be few!  Let me not ensnare myself with too much talking and promises I can't keep.  Help me to remain silent as I listen for Your Spirit to guide me, as I wait on You.  Help me to listen more and speak less!

Thoughts from the Dark Side...

Today I am thankful for: great sleep last night, Josh feeling better, a beautiful evening sky, a hummingbird at the feeder, Alison's surgery going well, the full moon, hugs & kisses from my babies, fresh bed linens, hot showers, the privilege to cook for my family

Wow...so I'm reading Ecclesiastes and it's a difficult one.  I can understand why Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 1:18 "For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases in knowledge increases in sorrow."  As we grow in wisdom with the Lord our eyes are opened to sin and to the folly of the majority of mankind.  We all die--there is no distinction at death between the wicked and the righteous.  It's difficult to understand that God's judgement will come in His time, not our own.  Solomon's views are pretty dark; we all toil in vain for we all will die.  So what's the point?  Sprinkled among his teaching is perhaps part of his point: Eccl. 2:24 "Nothing is better for a man than that he should eat and drink, and that his soul should enjoy good in his labor.  This, also, I saw was from the hand of God."  Be content in what the Lord has given!  We should satisfy ourselves with the work He has called us to do, and with the fruit of our labor and God's provision.  If we take joy in the Lord and store up treasures in heaven, our work is not in vain!  Yes, our hearts break for those that walk in darkness and don't know the Lord, but we can share Jesus with others and be fulfilled by the Master.

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 "I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor--it is the gift of God." (NASB)

Truly Wise Leadership

Today I am thankful for: Josh feeling better tonight, God's guidance regarding Josh's illness, Madi eating a good dinner, Darrin doing well at tkd, my sweet children's prayers, sharing bible & devotions with the kiddos, my sister (Lord, keep her safe tomorrow!), my mom and her unconditional love for us!!, heated seats in the Santa Fe :o)

I only read Proverbs 8 tonight, but I'm simply awed by the greatness of God!  Just trying to comprehend that He is the source of all things, that He just IS...it blows my mind!  Proverbs 8 points out that rulers need wisdom to rule effectively; where does wisdom come from?  God!  He is the author of wisdom.  Wow!  I look at our world today and there is so much strife and corruption in world leadership.  Gee, I wonder why...  It is so painfully simple to me that without God, one simply cannot have the wisdom to guide others.

As we are gearing up for the 2012 presidential election it all just seems a muddy mess!  I have quickly lost hope in potential candidates and I'm curious to see how things unfold.  There seems to be so much damage already.  Yet I wonder what will happen if certain candidates truly seek God and His wisdom in a genuine way...what might the race look like?  No matter what, I pray we see a revival of wise leadership in and out of office.  Corporate leaders, church leaders, local leaders, etc.--I pray we see a return to wisdom as the Author intended!  I'm beginning with myself and my family.  Thank You, God, for Your wise counsel!

Proverbial Wisdom

Today I am thankful for: Radiant Moms, my husband (Thank You, Lord, for keeping him safe when his car tire blew out today!), beautiful cool weather, heat! (house, car), cozy blankets, hot water, my precious kiddos' voices, having Josh home unexpectedly, fun holiday ideas to share with family

I am so thankful for the book of Proverbs.  One friend once shared with me the idea of reading one chapter of Proverbs daily each month.  I enjoyed that before and will begin again--beginning today!  I'm struck by the simplicity of the Proverbs from chapter 1 on.  God has created for us an orderly universe and a perfect design for all things.  Boy, do we muck it up!  But if we'd seek God's wisdom and understanding of His ways, we are clearly told we'd experience length of life, honor among peers, beauty (inward which may lead to outward), protection & preservation but he Lord's own hand, happiness, good health, strength, bountiful provision, riches, peace, sweet sleep, courage, passion in marriage, strong friendships--and that's only the first 7 chapters of the book (there are 31)!  How could anyone not want those things?  Sadly, our culture is so topsy-turvy in sin we think we know better than our Creator.  We think we have understanding apart from God.  Just look at the rates of adultery, fornication, divorce, debt, poor health, abuse, poverty, and so forth.  Our world is crying out for wisdom and great leadership while rejecting THE source of both!

I am so blessed to be able to be home and to be raising my children in a very hands-on manner.  One of my greatest prayers is that my children continue to grow in their fledgling faith and walk with the Lord all their days.  Right now they know the gospel and I have no doubt they love Jesus with all their hearts!  I cannot express the JOY that knowledge brings me!  I am prayerful that God will continue to strengthen me and impart His wisdom so that I can truly instruct my children in His ways.

What a blessing God's very word is to me!  Having His wisdom expressed an illustrated throughout the books is amazing.  The simplicity and beauty of the book of Proverbs is definitely nothing short of God-inspired and perfectly designed.  And having the perfect words of wisdom-incarnate in my Savior Lord Jesus makes me certain I lack for nothing in what is needed to grow and flourish as both a child of God and as a mother of two precious children of God!

Daddy, Your perfect love overwhelms me!  I'm amazed as day after day I'm able to come before You in absolute awe of what You've done for me!  The depth of Your knowledge and wisdom knows no bounds.  How comforting to know that You know me, You made me, and You gave me absolutely everything I need to live and live a life abundant in riches!  I am so thankful that I have understanding; that I know that my treasure lies in You alone, and that from You come my greatest blessings: salvation through Your Son, Jesus; my family; my gifts that allow me to serve You faithfully and with obedience so that others may know You.  Thank You for Your word which so perfectly instructs--I am not alone!  You are always with me.  Praise You, Lord!

Glorious Creation

Today I am thankful for: rain!, a good day in 2nd grade at church, my hubby, a good nap, yummy, warm food on such a cool day, kiddos eating a good dinner, soft & warm clothes to lounge in, ibuprofen for headaches (me!) and fevers (Dman!), joy in the Lord!

I am overwhelmed by God's glory!  I suppose I get tired of "perfect" SoCal weather.  :o)  Sunshine is lovely, blue-sky days are endless, but it can get a bit boring.  I think that's why I enjoy rain, clouds, cold weather.  It's just another expression of the awesome power and greatness of God!  Sometimes I think we take our good weather for granted and we get so used to it we begin to be blinded to the glory of God all around us.  It's kind of like the Israelites must have felt in days of old--they were so blessed by God they would take Him for granted, forget their need, and move to idols or something different.  I get so used to sunshine and warmth that I can easily fail to see the blessing and glory around me and take it for granted.  Having a weather change lets me see another "face" of God; a blessing of a different sort, a "new" power or awesomeness my God displays.  It's so cool!  To be honest, I think every single day finds me praising the Lord for His creation, but it sure is joyful to see something different.  God's creation is limitless, so I love witnessing different aspects, either with travel, weather, changes, new seasons...it's all amazing!  God is definitely great and greatly to be praised!

Psalm 145:3 "Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; and His greatness is unsearchable."

Closer to Him (as I wrote this in a plane, tee-hee...)

Today I am thankful for: time spent with Andrea and Megan, going home to my family, rain, cool weather, the greatness of my God, my home

Thank You, Lord, for Psalm 139!!  What a beautiful psalm that sums up the thoughts and wonders within me.  God made me.  He formed every part of me!  He knew me and shaped me before I existed!  There is no where I can hide that God either won't find me or won't know my thoughts.  How comforting!  Even when I'm foolish enough to allow sin to separate me from God, He is there!  I may not see Him, but He is with me.  He knows my heart!!  Why should I not confess my transgressions?  Praise You, God, for knowing every part of me, every thought, every unspoken word!  Help me to always strive to be transparent before the Lord.  He knows me intimately, therefore I have nothing to hide.  So do not let me try!  Keep dishonesty far from me and keep me humble in my praise and genuine in my words.  It is a blessing to serve the Lord!  I pray that my faith grows continually as I strive to walk the path He has set before me.  Lord, keep me from stumbling!  Draw me closer, Lord.  Help me to stay in Your presence, always.

My Heart's Cry

Today I am thankful for: beautiful cool weather in Alameda, our lovely walk, thoughtful conversation with friends, our technology and the iPhone 4s (being able to talk to and see my family from far away!), speech therapy for Darrin, Josh's big-kid heart, snuggling Juilette and Elia, Madi's girly goofiness, Darrin's thoughtful heart as a big brother

Wow!  So many words of wisdom tonight in Psalms!  First, Psalm 111:10 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; a good understanding have all those who do His commandments. His praise endures forever."  I don't have to be an intellectual, I don't have to have gone to bible college, and I don't have to be a spiritual "somebody" to understand God and His scripture.  I just have to "fear" Him!  I have to know He is God, know He is just and faithful and awesome!  With a foundation of faith and a respect for His holiness, I can begin to understand His ways and His word and how to apply His teachings to my life.  Next, Psalm 118 is full of little verses I've heard over the years that truly speak to my heart and give me perspective and encouragement, particularly Psalm 118: 6, 8-9, 14, 24, & 26.  But what stands out most tonight is  Psalm 119:37 "Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way."  This is my heart's cry!  More of You and less of me!  Help me, Father, to turn from idols that weigh me down and bring folly.  Correct my ways to match the path You've laid before me.  Help me to truly find strength in You alone and let  Your word be the water to my thirsty soul.  Let me learn from Your correction and keep my eyes focused on You so that I might not sin!

Love Notes

Today I am thankful for: good friends, clean floors, a clean kitchen, Madi enjoying dance, Darrin being helpful and loving, Madi doing her chores with a glad heart, sharing dinner with Megan, making it safely to Andrea's, Josh being a great daddy!

I am thankful the Lord has opened the eyes of my heart to see His glory all around me!  I see His glory in the clouds, the sun, the stars,  I feel His glory in crisp fall air and the rush of the wind.  I hear His glory in the songs of the birds and my children's laughter.  I smell His glory in the scent of cinnamon, the warmth of vanilla, the cleanness of the rain.  I can taste His glory in a ripe red strawberry or a chocolate treat.  There is so much of our world that bombards our senses every day!  I am forever grateful that I can see His perfection in the smallest thing and be reminded of His power and majesty.  Our God is amazing and I'm so blessed to have a faith that allows me to experience Him daily.  I'm never far from my Lord when I stop to remember all the little love notes He's left to me.  His Spirit speaks to me in subtle ways--I just need to be aware!  Speak to my heart, Oh God! Show me Your beauty!  Cause me to wonder and marvel at Your greatness so that I never lose sight of You!  I want to be in Your presence for eternity, worshiping You and bringing glory to Your name!

Praise Him, Praise Him All Ye Little Children!

Today I am thankful for: cool night air, my children's laughter and joy, Darrin having a good day at tkd, Madi eating well, cooler weather coming, Josh skipping WOW last night to spend time with me

I just began Book 4 of Psalms and it is so uplifting!  Each psalm has been a beautiful cry to the Lord praising Him for His awesome power, His creation, His holiness and goodness, etc.  Our God is awesome!  Tonight during dinner the kids and I were listening to praise music and we had a wonderful little discussion about praising God.  I love seeing them love Him and worship Him!  I love hearing them express their love for Him in their own little ways.  Their words are so pure, so genuine, and though they may not always make the most sense I know that their hearts are praising Him to the fullest the best they know how!  It gives me such joy to see my children growing in faith and love for the Lord.  I can only imagine they joy HE feels seeing them and hearing them. Oh, I pray we are teaching them and nurturing them in the right way!  I pray that their foundation in God will be firm and that they'll not stray form His guidance as they grow older, but instead they'll draw nearer to Him.

Thank You, Lord, for these precious children!  Josh and I are so blessed to be their parents!  Help us to be examples of Christian living that encourage them to turn to You and follow Your path and not walk away.  We give them to You for they will always be Yours!

Relevant & Contemporary

Today I am thankful for: rest, talking to my mom on the phone, Madi's precious face, Darrin's loving heart and snuggles, good food to eat, my loving husband, my everlasting and unchanging God, my sister feeling better, my dad being open to dialysis, Crossroads

Again, I am baffled that someone can read God's word and not see it's application to today or grasp the genuine awesomeness of God!  In Psalm 83 the psalmist cries out for God to confound the enemies of Israel for "The have said, 'Come, and let us cut them off from being a nation, that the name of Israel may be remembered no more.'" (Psalm 83:4)  The enemy has always struggled to undo God's blessing.  We still see it today!  Even God's chosen people have not continued to walk in His ways and wonder at the strife of their nation.  But praise God for the truth of His word!  Psalm 83:18 says "That they may know that You, whose name alone is the Lord, are the Most High over all the earth."  The psalmist prayed for this in his time, but we are still praying for the same today!  And we know that they day is coming when every knee will bow and every tongue will confess Christ as Lord.  I'm clinging to God's promises!  He has made Himself so clear to us in the bible, and He is still the same today!

Thank You, Lord, for Your constant and abiding love!  If ever I am far from You, I know that is my doing, and that You are there waiting to receive me.  Help me to meditate unceasingly on Your goodness and holiness so that I might always proclaim You as my Lord and Savior without fail!