Today I am thankful for: an new day, reading the Bible with my kids and talking about God's amazing love, candy canes, water, hot tea, my son telling me he could love with me for hours and likes the feel of my face & puffy cheeks, Madi telling me her dance teacher is Miss Broccoli (instead of Miss Tiffany) and that she's green with branches and leaves, warm sun, my hubby's voice.
I am simply overwhelmed tonight by God's goodness! Today has been a little tough at times; we've been dealing with my dad's declining health for a while, now, but today it kind of hit me...this man could die and die soon. I don't pretend to know the mind of our God and I'm so thankful He is unsearchable--who wants to serve a god that can be figured out easily or at all? But I've had to wonder at the plan He has when it just seems that event after event takes place to knock my family down. I'm thankful that each death and trial has brought me closer to Him and helped me to have more hope and more faith. But now that it comes to my own father I'm left feeling helpless.
So last night I knew that I could pray, had to pray, and that's what I've been doing all day. My thoughts have been on God and on my dad all throughout the day. I know I'm not the only one, either. And the emotions that I have swirling around in my heart for this man are so loaded and complicated; but I'm his daughter, he CHOSE me to be his own and I love him for that alone. I want, more than anything, for my dad to experience real JOY before he departs this earth; I want to be assured that he will be in heaven one day to meet me. I have to say, it's a real helpless feeling--visceral, even--to know that he alone has to make that choice. So while I'm praying for healing and restoration and stamina, I'm also praying for spiritual healing and renewal that only my Heavenly Father can extend to my earthly father. So every scare we have is more to me than just a health scare or fear that "this is it"--it's a fear that I will never, ever see my dad again in this life or the next.
The man is stubborn, more so than any other human being I know, but no one is more persistent than my God. I cannot dictate to God when enough is enough, I cannot decide for Him that my dad is beyond hope in spiritual matters. I am so thankful for that! So I will continue to pray for my dad that God reveals Himself to him in a mighty and real way during this crisis. I will continue to lift him up and know that my God hears and knows and has a purpose in all things. Tonight my dad has improved some, and I cannot tell you the relief that has flooded me. I've learned that because of my relationship with my Abba Father, I have learned to love my dad in a better way; I've learned to forget past hurts and wrongs and see him as my God sees him. And for whatever time he has left of this earth, I will be praying for his salvation and the chance to share in his truest joy.
Lord Jesus, I'm out of words. I've been praying so long I just don't have the vocabulary left in me to express my brokenness over my dad's spiritual and mental and physical condition. You know his needs, You know our family's needs, and You are a God of comfort and compassion. I thank You that You are so faithful in hearing our pleas and answering us. Help us to be patient and to LISTEN for You. Bring healing that only You can provide; restore our family to a place of joy and contentment. Give us the stamina needed to endure the trials we are in and the ones we have yet to face, and through it all draw us closer to You. You know what we need, even when we don't; so hear my prayer, Father, and move in a mighty way so that You might be glorified. Help me to honor You with my love and my actions and words. Thank You for teaching me to love and to love more deeply. Praise and glory and honor be to You alone! In Jesus' precious name, Amen!
I am simply overwhelmed tonight by God's goodness! Today has been a little tough at times; we've been dealing with my dad's declining health for a while, now, but today it kind of hit me...this man could die and die soon. I don't pretend to know the mind of our God and I'm so thankful He is unsearchable--who wants to serve a god that can be figured out easily or at all? But I've had to wonder at the plan He has when it just seems that event after event takes place to knock my family down. I'm thankful that each death and trial has brought me closer to Him and helped me to have more hope and more faith. But now that it comes to my own father I'm left feeling helpless.
So last night I knew that I could pray, had to pray, and that's what I've been doing all day. My thoughts have been on God and on my dad all throughout the day. I know I'm not the only one, either. And the emotions that I have swirling around in my heart for this man are so loaded and complicated; but I'm his daughter, he CHOSE me to be his own and I love him for that alone. I want, more than anything, for my dad to experience real JOY before he departs this earth; I want to be assured that he will be in heaven one day to meet me. I have to say, it's a real helpless feeling--visceral, even--to know that he alone has to make that choice. So while I'm praying for healing and restoration and stamina, I'm also praying for spiritual healing and renewal that only my Heavenly Father can extend to my earthly father. So every scare we have is more to me than just a health scare or fear that "this is it"--it's a fear that I will never, ever see my dad again in this life or the next.
The man is stubborn, more so than any other human being I know, but no one is more persistent than my God. I cannot dictate to God when enough is enough, I cannot decide for Him that my dad is beyond hope in spiritual matters. I am so thankful for that! So I will continue to pray for my dad that God reveals Himself to him in a mighty and real way during this crisis. I will continue to lift him up and know that my God hears and knows and has a purpose in all things. Tonight my dad has improved some, and I cannot tell you the relief that has flooded me. I've learned that because of my relationship with my Abba Father, I have learned to love my dad in a better way; I've learned to forget past hurts and wrongs and see him as my God sees him. And for whatever time he has left of this earth, I will be praying for his salvation and the chance to share in his truest joy.
Lord Jesus, I'm out of words. I've been praying so long I just don't have the vocabulary left in me to express my brokenness over my dad's spiritual and mental and physical condition. You know his needs, You know our family's needs, and You are a God of comfort and compassion. I thank You that You are so faithful in hearing our pleas and answering us. Help us to be patient and to LISTEN for You. Bring healing that only You can provide; restore our family to a place of joy and contentment. Give us the stamina needed to endure the trials we are in and the ones we have yet to face, and through it all draw us closer to You. You know what we need, even when we don't; so hear my prayer, Father, and move in a mighty way so that You might be glorified. Help me to honor You with my love and my actions and words. Thank You for teaching me to love and to love more deeply. Praise and glory and honor be to You alone! In Jesus' precious name, Amen!
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