Turn and Live

Today I am thankful for: Darrin doing well meeting his goals at speech, reading stories to Moo in the waiting room at Lucid, being able to help out at produce day for our co-op, fresh fruits and veggies, the kids having fun at the park, visiting with Kary, enjoying dinner at home with my family, my babies' smiles, kisses from my hubby.

I'm reading in Ezekiel and came to chapter 18 tonight.  It made me think.  I've long pondered things such as what the lukewarm church would look like and where it would come from; I've begun to notice the past few years that it is forming right now here in America, also around the world.  It seems that so many churches are compromising the integrity of their faith by becoming "tolerant" and expanding their views, adding interpretation to biblical truths that shouldn't require any.  It's really frightening and disheartening to witness.  No one wants to think about people going to hell, but to broaden your congregation by tolerating certain sins as acceptable or saying that all roads lead to God and heaven doesn't save anyone from a rather warm fate, least of all the church leaders encouraging their wannabe saints.

Church is definitely a place for the broken.  God doesn't call only "good" or righteous people to His fold--in fact we are told that none of us is good, that Jesus Himself is the only truly good person to walk the earth.  Believers should be welcoming people from all walks of life to join each Sunday in a great sinners' convention meeting--for when it comes down to it, we are all the same.  Each of us is a sinner, no one better or worse that another.  Some might be in a better place of admitting their sin and choosing to love God and please Him, thereby appearing to be "better" or "nicer" than others.  Some might be lost and broken, complete messes wandering in society or maybe even incarcerated.  But at the heart of it all, we are ALL sinners, broken by choices to please ourselves and left with God-sized holes in our hearts.

The problem with society, especially in America, is that we want to qualify ourselves--well, at least I don't smoke, or I've never killed anyone, or I don't steal, or I don't let my children watch t.v all day long, I don't, I don't, I don't.  Our "I don'ts" don't mean much to God because when we are too busy looking around at others to compare ourselves with we take our eyes off Him.  We forget that Jesus is the standard, HE is the mark by which we are all judged.  And what does "sin" mean?  It means to miss the mark.  Sin isn't just about doing wrong things, it's about not doing the right things.  So there thousands of church-goers warming pews each week, patting themselves on the back for being "Christian" because they give money and sit quietly and get through the week without harming anyone; they aren't doing anything wrong.  But what aren't they doing right?

This, I believe is the foundation of the lukewarm church.  People have lost touch with God and are more concerned about what people think, about keeping up appearances.  God doesn't care what you look like; He sees your heart.  These people are probably so deluded by being what a Christian isn't, that they have forgotten what being a Christian is.  This bring me back to my opening paragraph.  God laid out His statutes so plainly for His people that there was no excuse not to follow them.  They weren't easy, but they had a purpose.  Once Jesus came and died for our sins then conquered death through His resurrection, we simply had to choose to love Him and grow to be more like Him in all ways...ALL ways.  You can't claim to be a follower of Christ and not love, but you also can't ignore the things He spoke against.  People today don't want to say "no" to anything; they are afraid of standing for something and saying it's wrong--it's just so much easier to say that everything is right as long as no one gets hurt!  They claim that God is unfair and a "loving God" wouldn't condemn people to hell just for disagreeing with Him.

God is holy..HOLY.  He created the world, so I think He has a right to dictate it's rules to keep things in order.  He gave us free will to make our own choices, though He wants us to choose to love Him.  If we were forced to love Him, then that wouldn't really be love at all, right?  The fact is, God doesn't necessarily send us to hell, but we choose to go there by rejecting Him and disobeying Him.  Parents often tell their children that there are consequences to their actions, and that when a negative consequence ensues the child, in effect, "chose" it; afterall, the parents set the rules and they are pretty clear.  If you want happy consequences, do this; negative consequences, do that.  Society isn't any different, and when someone breaks a law we generally are pretty unsympathetic; he knew what he was doing, right?  He knew what would happen!  God tells us the same thing.  Ezekiel 18:25-29 "Yet you say, 'The way of the Lord is not fair.' Hear now, O house of Israel, is it not My way which is fair, and your ways which are not fair? When a righteous man turns away from his righteousness, commits iniquity, and dies in it, it is because of the iniquity which he has done that he dies.  Again, when a wicked man turns away from the wickedness which he committed, and does what is lawful and right, he preserves himself alive.  Because he considers and turns away from all the transgressions which he committed, he shall surely live; he shall not die.  Yet the house of Israel says, 'The way of the Lord is not fair.'  O house of Israel, is it not My ways which are fair, and your ways which are not fair?"

God isn't hard and unyielding, He's holy and the epitome of integrity.  He set a standard we can't meet, but He pours out grace upon us and has made a way for us to have a reward we don't deserve.  The beautiful thing is that He loves us and wants us to choose Him!  He gave us a choice, but He certainly has a preference for what choice we make.  I know my God is a God of love because He set boundaries for us, clear expectations for living.  And, like our earthly parents, He corrects us for our own good when we go astray.  When parents say "this hurts me more than it hurts you" it's really true; it hurts to be disrespected and disobeyed by someone you would give your life for, and it hurts to have to inflict pain upon that person even though she deserves it as a consequence of her actions.  God said something similar to Ezekiel: "'Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways,' says the Lord God. 'Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity will not be your ruin. Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit.  For why should you die, O house of Israel?  For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies,' says the Lord God.  'Therefore turn and live!'" (Ezekiel 18:30-32)


Father God, I thank You that I was taught of Your great love for me, that the fear I have for You is out of respect and not pain.  I am so thankful that I turned away from my transgressions and chose life over death!  Thank You for every person You set in my path that showed me the meaning of love by accepting who I was and teaching me how to reconcile that with Your plan for me.  You made me!  You created every aspect of my very being, and it is so amazing to finally be realizing my purpose, though I won't understand everything all at once.  For now it is enough to know that I can rejoice in my own self because You made me; I can have joy in reaching my full potential because I desire to glorify You.  Help me to focus on what You WANT me to be, and not on what You don't want me to be.  By being more like You I will be able to let go of those things that are undesirable.  Help me to love others with Your compassion and Your intensity.  Help me to show them their value and accept them where they are and however they are so that the door is opened for Your Holy Spirit to do It's transforming work!  Break my heart for what breaks Your own heart, Jesus!  And please help me to act on that love.  Thank You for Your amazing grace.  Praise be to You alone!  In Jesus' name, Amen!

A Love Like No Other

Today I am thankful for: hearing my daughter beg me for her schoolwork, both kiddos eating great at their meal times, how well my babies play with other kiddos they don't know, watching Madi at dance, they way Darrin's imagination is growing and growing in his playtime, being able to talk to my mom, knowing God hears my prayers and answers them, being able to keep in touch with my hubby throughout the day, the men who've gone to visit my dad and pray with him.

Tonight I read Ezekiel 16 and was really struck by the imagery used to describe God's relationship with Israel.  Israel is depicted as an unwanted baby girl tossed into a field to die of exposure, her umbilical cord still attached and not even cleaned from birth.  She was so despised by her parents she was immediately discarded!  But God came along and rescued her and caused her to thrive; as she grew she became very beautiful.  Later they are joined in a covenant like marriage and He bathed her and anointed her and adorned her from head to foot in fine linen, sandals, and jewels; she is described as "exceedingly beautiful" and her fame spread out to other nations "for [your beauty] was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you" (Ezekiel 16:14).

We are nothing without God!  We are weak and helpless, dirty and without hope.  God is there waiting--He sees us!--and He wants to clean us up and breathe life into us; He wants us to thrive and become exceedingly beautiful!  What do we need to do to earn a love like that?  Nothing!  We need to accept that He loves us and pledge our love to Him in return--that's all!  But there's more...

"But you trusted in your own beauty, played the harlot because of your fame, and poured out your harlotry on everyone passing by who would have it." (Ezekiel 16:15) How often do we go through a period of blessing and forget that our blessings are not our own but from our Lord?  We begin to relax and think we are invincible; we begin to fall into sinful habits that are ultimately destructive to ourselves and our relationships with others.  We give into our own wantonness and become consumed with self-gratification and selfishness.  There is really no particular reason why we walk away from God; He hasn't done anything to cause it.  The fault lies entirely with us.  Israel began to form alliances with other countries for protection when God had promised her everything--she had no need of protection or goods from others for He had provided in abundance.  She was simply choosing to disobey God's law.

When we begin to trust in ourselves and turn away from God, we may feel as though things are under control and we aren't doing anything wrong.  But before long, we begin to feel that separation from God; an emptiness grows and we look for things to fill it with.  Ezekiel 16:32 "You are an adulterous wife who takes strangers instead of her husband."  Because we do not feel close to God we may feel ashamed and hide from Him; we continue to justify our actions and venture further down a lonely, rocky path.  We make ourselves vulnerable to others, to our chosen vices.  All of a sudden we realize we are out of control, at the mercy of whatever comes our way.  We lack the strength to fend off attacks; we are broken and humiliated. Israel was invaded and attacked by those she sought alliances with, those who had traded with her and promised to protect her.

According to old testament law, adultery was punishable by stoning.  An unfaithful wife deserved to be humiliated, degraded in public and stoned to death for breaking her covenant with her husband.  We suffer the consequences of our actions.  God is holy and righteous, yet He loves us unconditionally.  That doesn't mean we aren't ever punished; Proverbs 3:11-12 says "My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction; For whom the Lord loves, he corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights."  Israel broke it's covenant with God and forsook Him over and over and over again.  God was justifiably angry with His people and brought punishment on Israel for its sin, but He also yearned for them to see the folly of their ways and return to Him.  When they did, He forgot the past and poured out His blessing upon them once more.  Ezekiel 16:60 "Nevertheless I will remember My covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish and everlasting covenant with you."

How many spouses are able to move through the anger and hurt to a place where they can extend grace to the partner that committed adultery?  How many marriages reconcile and seek healing after a breach of vows?  How many people can look past the pain to the One who can bring healing and learn to forgive?  We are so stubborn and prideful!  If we can just get over ourselves and see that it isn't about "us" we see that our Creator, our Savior us standing there with arms wide open waiting to take us back!  He wants to be with us!  He isn't waiting to rub our noses in our messes.  He isn't going to throw our mistakes in our faces every so often just to shame us into being faithful to Him.  He pours His grace over us and lavishes us with love causing our dirty, broken selves to be whole and beautiful once more.  He wants our eyes to look forward with hope and trust, not backward with guilt and shame.

I'm currently reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan--and I highly recommend it, even though I'm not even halfway through.  As I read earlier tonight the following passage really hit home with me:

A Strange Inheritance

The very fact that a holy, eternal, all-knowing, all-powerful, merciful, fair, and just God loves you and me is nothing short of astonishing.

     The wildest part is that Jesus doesn't have to love us.  His being is utterly complete and perfect, apart from humanity.  He doesn't need me or you.  Yet He wants us, chooses us, even considers us His inheritance (Eph. 1:18).  The greatest knowledge we can ever have is knowing God treasures us.

     That really is amazing beyond description.  The holy Creator sees you as His "glorious inheritance."

     The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time.  He treasures us and anticipates our departure from this earth to be with Him--and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have to do for Him to get by.

God's greatest gift to us was His Son, Jesus.  His second greatest gift is His very word, the Bible.  If we are honest and read through it, it's nearly impossible to ignore the goodness and faithfulness of our loving God.  If we keep our minds and hearts open to His words, we'll find He's speaking directly to us telling us time and again that it doesn't matter how much we mess up; He created us and loves us and wants us to be with Him.  He sent His son to bear the weight of our sins because our human frailty could never be subjected to the punishment we are due.  He loves us that much!!  We are adulterous wives, deserving of degradation and death, and yet He wants to clean us up, build us up, and continue with us in an everlasting covenant.  Where else are we going to find a love like that?

Father, thank You for loving me!  Thank You for being my Rock, for standing firm when I'm caught up in the tide.  It is so amazing that You love me despite my faults and weaknesses.  You know me better than even I do for You formed me and knew me even before conception.  You knew my mistakes before I made them, and yet you brought me life and loved me anyway.  Help me to see myself through Your eyes so that I might see my value and yearn to please You and never hide myself from You.  Thank You for correcting me when I begin to go astray so that I remember to look back and see You and run to You.  Thank You for wanting me whole and unhurt, and thank You for healing me when I return to You with the wounds of my shame.  You are my love, my light, my hope.  I praise You and hope that I never am able to give You 100% of me only because my capacity to love continues to grow and I never reach my limit, though I strive to continually with all my might.  Help me to glorify You in all that I do!  I love You!

The Help

Today I am thankful for: open windows and crisp breezes, kids earning ALL their tickets!, Chinese food for dinner, a clean kitchen, snuggly blankets, the pumpkin patch, hot tea, Darrin's natural and boundless curiosity, Madi's imagination!

Psalm 32:1-2 "Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.  Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit."

David's psalms truly speak to my heart.  There are times when I'm reading and think how great this man of God was, how pleasing he was in thought and action to the Lord.  I think, I could never be like David!  Then I stop and think of the times when David sinned.  So maybe I could never be like him, but he was certainly like me!  No matter how many times he messed up, he kept coming back to God seeking forgiveness and displaying a truly humbled and penitent heart.  Praise God He loves us that much!  He pours out His grace and I'm flooded with His peace.  I'm really trying to be aware of my sin so that I might confess it and repent.  Worry is a tough one, probably the hardest for me.  With a little help from my new book on the matter, and  a LOT of help from God, I want tot work towards genuinely letting go of worry!

Father God, You know how much I struggle with worry and self-control.  I give them both to You now!  Help me put complete trust in You and deny myself so that I might have MORE of You!

No Argument Here...

Today I am thankful for:  yummy breakfast!, fresh chives from my planter, Heather being happy with the family pics I took for her, Chick-fil-A, Toys R Us, fresh laundry, our washing machine!, hugs from my honey, being able to watch the kids play after dinner

I love reading Elihu's words to Job.  He gives some good insight and advice cloaked in beautiful language.  Above all, who are we to question God's motives and justice when we are feeling oppressed?  God doesn't need us for anything; He desires that we reside in fellowship with Him and He expects certain behaviors.  Yet our sinfulness or our very righteousness have no bearing on His on existence.  He has ALWAYS been!  Whether or not we find ourselves suffering due to our sin or suffering "unjustly" is a moot point--it simply doesn't matter!  God knows our suffering and pain.  We should simply seek to conduct ourselves according to His will, repenting of sin when we sin and asking God for strength to live passionately for Him through our pain.  All human suffering is a result of sin, either directly through our own poor choices or indirectly through the choices of others.  God KNOWS ALL and will mete out justice in His perfect time.  Holy is the Lord!

Justice

Today I am thankful for:  beautiful weather, my babies snuggling in bed with me, time at the library, my children's love of books, Josh being home for dinner, being able to go out to dinner, God keeping us safe as we drive around (Lord, please be with those in the accident we saw tonight!)

This world is so uncertain!  We often look around and think things are worse than they've ever been--heinous crimes, adultery, theft, disregard for authority, etc.  Indeed I feel things are getting worse, yet in reading Job we learn that, to a certain extent, nothing has really changed.  There are people being truly wicked and "getting away with it" all the time.  Crimes seem to go unpunished.  Many nonbelievers use this as evidence against our God being who we claim He is, or against any God at all.  But what can mere humans truly understand about the ways of our Creator?  Sin is sin!  We try to qualify it, quantify it; but the bible tells us that no sin is greater than another.  All sin is wicked!  Oh, if we could just see sin through God's eyes I'm sure we'd not be able to complain and point fingers any longer!  Our world today is an angry one--full of bile about "injustice" and perceived slights against individuals.  They cry out "where is God?" and "how could He______?"  Well, He IS God, and He IS here and always has been.  Justice may not always come when or how we expect, yet reading the bible I've learned that justice ALWAYS comes.  I'll keep my trust in Him because HE is faithful!

Just the Same

Today I am thankful for:  Crossroads, my haircut (feels better & no gray!), quiet mornings, my sweet children, my bible, Rachel

Josh and I officially became members at Crossroads tonight!  It feels so good to really and truly belong, especially to a church that is so passionately committed to Christ and reaching others in His name.  I look forward to serving!

Ok, so the Israelites make me want to bash my head against something hard!  Over and over again, God shows how faithful and just He is, but they just don't learn!  Joash breaks my heart--he served God so faithfully while he had Jehoiada to guide him.  God blessed his kingdom, them Joash totally blew it!  After Jehoiada's death, he so quickly forsook God, stoned Jehoiada's son for speaking truth, and God quickly turned away from him.  That is so sad! But I know that I'm no different.  When I'm not reading my bible and praying, it's so easy to fall into sinful habits.  I have to remember that my sins are no better than those of Joash in God's sight.  So when reading about the Israelites makes me so indignant, I need to remember that I'm no different!  Instead, let me praise God that His Son's blood covers my sins, and that His mercies are new every morning--and that He ALWAYS takes me back, too, and pours out His blessings!